Blogs for Dummies

Not everything is for dummies, but that's not what the titles of many books would argue. One would naturally assume that Calculus, Physics and English grammar are not subjects directed towards 'dummies,' but believe it or not, each has its own respective book in the 'Dummies' series. Similarly, many books cater to complete idiots. How do you know which book is for you? Is there something that makes complete idiots different from your run-of-the-mill dummy?

I understand the need for many of these books; surely a dummy would need help with Windows 98 or do-it-yourself plumbing, but some of these titles I just don't think is a good idea to publish. For example, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pleasing Your Woman seems like it has good intentions for even complete idiots deserve to please their women. But complete idiots tend to have TV, and on it are many real or fake relationships that give similar advice.

Pregnancy for Dummies is obviously a bad idea, while Homeschooling for Dummies is completely unnecessary. If someone buys the latter book, their school district should be notified and the authorities may have to intervene. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Campus Safety does not make me feel safe on campus. On the other hand, when I get a parking ticket, I'll just rip it up because the complete idiot who wrote it probably forgot about it in the first place.

There are some dummy titles that seem a bit more appropriate, namely Catholicism for Dummies and The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Bible to name a few.

There's so much more to say about these books...why don't you respond with your favorite ironic dummy title?

not much to say.

I don't want to brag about my talents, but I have this one that I feel it is necessary to share. I have this knack for pissing people off. They can be people I care about or people I just met. It's like I'm trying to do this, but really it just happens to be my nature. What's worse is that I fail to realize what I'm doing until after the fact. I would offer some anecdotal evidence to back up this claim, but I don't want to single anyone out or embarrass anyone other than myself on this blog, at least today.

Inadvertantly pissing people off may be due to the fact that I'm a pretty uptight kind of guy. I know it may seem to the casual observer that I'm relaxed, but in actuality I am usually wound up in some way. (My friends may not be reading this in disbelief, as they have usually been the subjects of my outbursts.)

Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say 'sorry' to anybody I end up pissing off; friends, relatives, loved ones, random passers-by...

I'll try to work on that. I'll be a little less sensitive if you can be a little more understanding that I'm a bit of a jerk. That's all for now.

Thanks for reading.

S'omething.

As usual, it has been a while since my last update. For those of you that read multiple entries every year or so, you may not notice that, but for those that check regularly, I apologize for the lack of updates. I mean, I haven't heard a lot of complaints about the lack of new material on here, so it must be going well. Right?

So "what's new?" you might ask. Well, not much to be honest with you. Since I've been back from Europe, I've been finding home much the same as I left it. Aside from gas going up almost a full dollar since I left, things are pretty much the same. Work, eat, drink, sleep...you know the routine.

I'm still drinking more than I would like, but yesterday, I began excercizing. Excercising. I do it so infrequently that I don't even remember how to spell the damn word. And I'm a fucking Journalism major. I'm leaving the misspelled versions above to prove how little I partake in the activity. Anyway, working out has been working out pretty well thus far. I can't really give you too many long-term effects yet as I just started last night, but things seem to be on the up-and-up.

Going back to the whole 'Drinking more than I would like' aspect of my life - it's really become my favorite past-time. It's been like 36 hours since my last beer, which lately IS something to brag about. There's a t-shirt or a bumper sticker that sums up my attitude towards consuming alcoholic beverages that says something to the effect of:

"I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings."

Really that's about all there is to it. But seriously, I'm cutting back. It's been a while, at least, since I've purchased a beer. So that's something.

My birthday is this week. I know you may be thinking that I'll drink a lot on that day, but I have a stupid gig to go to and beer is too expensive at the stupid fucking bar we play at, so it looks like that will be a sober-fest for me as well. Who knows, maybe I'll run three miles that day too. Or maybe I'll just bring a flask with me.

So "why are you telling me all this?" you might be asking. Well, to answer your question, I've found some similarities between drinking beer (see also: wine, whiskey, scotch, etc.) and exercising. First, sleep comes quick to those that are tired, be it from a bottle or from sweating for an hour. Instead of being hung-over when I wake up, I'm just sore from using muscles that I previously reserved for emergency purposes only. Also, both activities leave you wanting to drink more. It's just that drinking a beer after a run is kind of a tough thing to do.

I realize I'll probably be through with this whole 'working out' thing in a week or so, so I'm glad I addressed the topic in my blog before I lost it completely. Maybe it'll help me stick to it. Who knows.

Happy birthday, me.