This class sucks. I would have tried to test out of it, but I didn't want to waste ten dollars. Now I'm stuck here learning how to copy-and-paste files in Microsoft XP (which stands for the eXPerience - the only information in this class that was new to me so far).
First - I'm primarily a Mac user.
Second - XP is no longer the newest Microsoft operating system.
Why is this class being taught?
Why is this class required for me to graduate? Can't they just assume that through my college career I will eventually learn the basics of the programs covered in the class (the Microsoft Office bundle)? The two students in front of me are checking facebook and e-mail, and I'm obviously typing something...
And he wants me to spend $140 on books. Ha! I'll try and figure out everything on the fly on the final.
I guess I should have paid ten dollars.
I kind of hope I fail.
Worst case scenario - I get a few hours of internet use every Thursday night.
Yours,
Travis
29 January 2009
19 January 2009
Utica's Roots
Sometimes, things just seem right - almost as if they were meant to be. Asking why will not bring me closer to any reason, be it divine or otherwise, but rather than pondering the deeper meaning of coincidences, I'll just try and sum up what gave me the chills today.
So I'm sitting in the radio station at Utica College for my weekly show and being comfortable with the music set for the remainder of the show, I decided to relax and to finish Alex Haley's book, 'Roots,' which I found quite difficult to put down. On page 713, I read something that required a second look...
"I was asked to speak at a seminar at Utica College..." Haley wrote. He was attempting to research where exactly his great-great-great-great-grandfather came from and found some success in Upstate New York, very close to where I am now sitting. He also visited nearby Hamilton College, where he had a little more success.
Being Martin Luther King, Jr.'s 'Birthday,' I knew I had to say something over the airwaves before playing my next song by Queen, when I realized that the name of that band is the title to another of Haley's books. I meantioned these coincidences over the airwaves and not too long thereafter a caller informed me that not only did Haley give a seminar, but also the commencement address at UC around 1979, when the 'Roots' miniseries was being released.
I can't wait to look up his speech in our archives and read more about it in the local newspapers and in the school newspaper, 'The Tangerine.'
I have had a similar experience like this, which you can read about in this very blog. Look for the blog titled, 'Nutrocker' from 10 March, 2008 to see what I mean.
So I'm sitting in the radio station at Utica College for my weekly show and being comfortable with the music set for the remainder of the show, I decided to relax and to finish Alex Haley's book, 'Roots,' which I found quite difficult to put down. On page 713, I read something that required a second look...
"I was asked to speak at a seminar at Utica College..." Haley wrote. He was attempting to research where exactly his great-great-great-great-grandfather came from and found some success in Upstate New York, very close to where I am now sitting. He also visited nearby Hamilton College, where he had a little more success.
Being Martin Luther King, Jr.'s 'Birthday,' I knew I had to say something over the airwaves before playing my next song by Queen, when I realized that the name of that band is the title to another of Haley's books. I meantioned these coincidences over the airwaves and not too long thereafter a caller informed me that not only did Haley give a seminar, but also the commencement address at UC around 1979, when the 'Roots' miniseries was being released.
I can't wait to look up his speech in our archives and read more about it in the local newspapers and in the school newspaper, 'The Tangerine.'
I have had a similar experience like this, which you can read about in this very blog. Look for the blog titled, 'Nutrocker' from 10 March, 2008 to see what I mean.
12 January 2009
The Neverending Story Alternate Ending
Bastian enters the book shop and the bell above the door announces his presence. The old shopkeeper enters through another door in the back to the sound of a flush and is drying his hands on his shirt.
"How did you like that book you stole from me?" the shopkeeper asks.
"Did you know?" Bastian responds.
"Did I know what, that you would steal my personal belongings? Did you enjoy your trip?"
Bastian knew that they were on the same wavelength at this point. He removes the book out from its secret hiding place beneath his sweater and offers it to the old man.
"Just as I suspected," the shopkeeper says, inspecting the pages of the book. "The entire tablet is gone."
Bastian looks confused, and looks again at the cover of the oversized book, the title of which now reads, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." This story, it seems, is getting stranger by the minute. Perhaps the book takes on a different form in daylight, Bastian thinks to himself. Then Bastian thought about the last thing the old man said about a tablet. Before he could come up with a question in response, the old man chimes in.
"Yeah," the old man says. "To make sure punks like you don't just take books from me, I like to teach them a lesson they won't soon forget. I pretend that there's this all-important book that 'isn't for everyone' and just affix small amounts of acid to the top right corner of a few early pages. This way, if you lick your finger before turning every page, like all little bastards do, you're tripping balls by page ten."
Bastian furrows his brow in confusion. After a few moments, he considered what the old man had just told him and innocently asks, "Acid?"
"Ask your father," the old man quickly replies.
Bastian nods his head and exits the shop with another jingling of the bell above the door. Waiting for him outside are the three bullies he was hiding from earlier in the film.
"Aren't you supposed to be in a dumpster?" the head bully asks, and without any further question from Bastian, he walks to the dumpster, opens the lid, and gets inside.
The End.
"How did you like that book you stole from me?" the shopkeeper asks.
"Did you know?" Bastian responds.
"Did I know what, that you would steal my personal belongings? Did you enjoy your trip?"
Bastian knew that they were on the same wavelength at this point. He removes the book out from its secret hiding place beneath his sweater and offers it to the old man.
"Just as I suspected," the shopkeeper says, inspecting the pages of the book. "The entire tablet is gone."
Bastian looks confused, and looks again at the cover of the oversized book, the title of which now reads, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." This story, it seems, is getting stranger by the minute. Perhaps the book takes on a different form in daylight, Bastian thinks to himself. Then Bastian thought about the last thing the old man said about a tablet. Before he could come up with a question in response, the old man chimes in.
"Yeah," the old man says. "To make sure punks like you don't just take books from me, I like to teach them a lesson they won't soon forget. I pretend that there's this all-important book that 'isn't for everyone' and just affix small amounts of acid to the top right corner of a few early pages. This way, if you lick your finger before turning every page, like all little bastards do, you're tripping balls by page ten."
Bastian furrows his brow in confusion. After a few moments, he considered what the old man had just told him and innocently asks, "Acid?"
"Ask your father," the old man quickly replies.
Bastian nods his head and exits the shop with another jingling of the bell above the door. Waiting for him outside are the three bullies he was hiding from earlier in the film.
"Aren't you supposed to be in a dumpster?" the head bully asks, and without any further question from Bastian, he walks to the dumpster, opens the lid, and gets inside.
The End.
05 January 2009
True Story.
So, this one time I'm on this airplane and the flight attendent offers a little more than just drinks and pretzels. For some reason, perhaps due to an advertising campaign, the lady has some shampoo on her cart. Herbal Essences, to be exact.
So anyway, this chick next to me, who looks like she needs a makeover a la 'She's All That,' which was one of my favorite movies at the time, skips the drinks and goes straight for the shampoo. This chick must have known something I didn't, as she had a mischevious smile on her face as she headed towards the bathroom.
Man oh man you wouldn't believe what happened next. We're all sitting in the cabin, minding our own business, when this 'Sarah Plain and Tall' starts moaning in ecstasy in the airplane bathroom, as if we're all like a mile away or something. All us other passengers were glancing at each other, thinking 'WTF,' or something. I especially remember this old chick with a smirk on her face like she knew what was up, but I may have misread her look.
So after a few seconds that felt like, well, seconds, the orgasming chick from the bathroom emerged and she was totally smoking hot. I don't know what went on in there, but her hair was dry, so forgive me for sounding like a pervert, but I don't think she used that shampoo on her hair. But her hair looked totally different! I went to the bathroom later to investigate and saw nothing out of the ordinary.
This happened a few years ago, and I've been trying to figure out what went on since then. If you have any theories on this mystery, please comment.
So anyway, this chick next to me, who looks like she needs a makeover a la 'She's All That,' which was one of my favorite movies at the time, skips the drinks and goes straight for the shampoo. This chick must have known something I didn't, as she had a mischevious smile on her face as she headed towards the bathroom.
Man oh man you wouldn't believe what happened next. We're all sitting in the cabin, minding our own business, when this 'Sarah Plain and Tall' starts moaning in ecstasy in the airplane bathroom, as if we're all like a mile away or something. All us other passengers were glancing at each other, thinking 'WTF,' or something. I especially remember this old chick with a smirk on her face like she knew what was up, but I may have misread her look.
So after a few seconds that felt like, well, seconds, the orgasming chick from the bathroom emerged and she was totally smoking hot. I don't know what went on in there, but her hair was dry, so forgive me for sounding like a pervert, but I don't think she used that shampoo on her hair. But her hair looked totally different! I went to the bathroom later to investigate and saw nothing out of the ordinary.
This happened a few years ago, and I've been trying to figure out what went on since then. If you have any theories on this mystery, please comment.
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