As Usual, I'm Missing Something.

Yeah, so this Swine Flu thing is getting out of control. How many people have died so far? 100? That's pretty serious. But you know what's just as serious, if not more so?

THE REGULAR FLU.

According to a Public Service Announcement I just played on the radio, 36,000 people will die this year from the REGULAR FLU. Not the that crazy swine variety, but the regular, run-of-the-mill, good old-fashioned 1918 Flu that was the largest pandemic in history and killed tens of millions of people.

Why are we all concerned with this new disease? It's all over the news right now, kind of like SARS or Avian Bird Flu. Or Anthrax in the mail. Remember them? Why aren't we hearing about those any more? I just get this eerie feeling that they're only reporting on this because they're trying to avoid covering something that actually matters.

Here in Central New York, the Swine Flu Scare has even prompted Dean of Students, Ken Kelly, to send a campus-wide e-mail on the issue. In the e-mail, which I hastily deleted and now want to quote it directly and cannot, he basically says not to worry. Oneida County only has had one possible case that has not been confirmed. Kelly goes on to say that the symptoms of the Swine Flu are

-Fever (over 100 degrees Fahrenheit)
-Vomiting
-Loss of Appetite
-Diarrhea

This all sounds oddly familiar. Oh, yeah, those are the symptoms for the REGULAR FLU. Kelly's advice: If you get flu symptoms, go home and rest. Take some antibiotics or something. Don't go near people. It appears the treatment is the same as the REGULAR FLU as well. I wonder if the ratio of people that have lived to people that have died from the Swine Flue is the same as the Regular one. I wouldn't be surprised, as EVERY OTHER ASPECT is the same.

But maybe I'm missing something.

MAN.

Givin' Off the Vibe

Disclaimer: If you finish reading this and are mildly offended, you can blame Drew and Kelley for requesting an update. This is pretty much the only interesting thing that's happened to me since my last post.



Here's one of the reasons I don't go to bars any more.

So, I'm standing outside of Utica's most expensive hot-spot, Space 25 or something, I forget, and I'm just waiting for Marissa and reading the paper on my iPhone. (Sidenote, this kind of goes against everything I stand for, but the iPhone is fucking SWEET!) And this tall, I guess we'll call him attractive, exTREMEly gay black dude starts talking to me while he smokes a cigarette. His questions are probing, to put it lightly, and all the while he's loooking me up and down.

His opener - "are you in the army?" (because I was wearing an army-fatigue jacket, as per usual).
My response - "um, no. I'm into garage sales. This was a dollar."

I know what he's thinking. I don't know why I give off a gay vibe, but it happens sometimes, I guess. Does it show that I recently had a dream about Vice-President Tom Cruise asking me to shave my ass when I was pantsless at an important meeting, possibly a debriefing of some kind? I guess it does now. Maybe you, dear reader, can tell me what exactly it is about me that both repels women and attracts men.

Anyway, here's something NOT to say to a person you're not interested in, regardless of their sex.

Me - "So....what's your name?"
Him - "Kirkland."
Me - "Oh, I live in Kirkland."

I didn't think about it at the time, but I definitely should have gone with Clinton. Or Paris. Or ANYWHERE. When is it too early to tell someone you're not attracted to them? I didn't want to be rude to the guy, so I just let the uncomfortable conversation finish of its own accord.

He finally realized I was the way I was when he asked if I was here with anyone, and I excitedly proclaimed, "YES. YES, I'M HERE WITH MY FIANCEE!" He promptly said it was nice meeting me and bade me farewell.

I have nothing against those of us who happen to be gay. I think that's great, and I think Iowa and Vermont and Sweden and that other place that is doing great things human rights for homosexuals is great. I'm just not gay myself.

Would it help if I was bald again? And I don't mean my ass, Vice-President Cruise.