12 January 2009

The Neverending Story Alternate Ending

Bastian enters the book shop and the bell above the door announces his presence. The old shopkeeper enters through another door in the back to the sound of a flush and is drying his hands on his shirt.
"How did you like that book you stole from me?" the shopkeeper asks.
"Did you know?" Bastian responds.
"Did I know what, that you would steal my personal belongings? Did you enjoy your trip?"
Bastian knew that they were on the same wavelength at this point. He removes the book out from its secret hiding place beneath his sweater and offers it to the old man.
"Just as I suspected," the shopkeeper says, inspecting the pages of the book. "The entire tablet is gone."
Bastian looks confused, and looks again at the cover of the oversized book, the title of which now reads, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." This story, it seems, is getting stranger by the minute. Perhaps the book takes on a different form in daylight, Bastian thinks to himself. Then Bastian thought about the last thing the old man said about a tablet. Before he could come up with a question in response, the old man chimes in.
"Yeah," the old man says. "To make sure punks like you don't just take books from me, I like to teach them a lesson they won't soon forget. I pretend that there's this all-important book that 'isn't for everyone' and just affix small amounts of acid to the top right corner of a few early pages. This way, if you lick your finger before turning every page, like all little bastards do, you're tripping balls by page ten."
Bastian furrows his brow in confusion. After a few moments, he considered what the old man had just told him and innocently asks, "Acid?"
"Ask your father," the old man quickly replies.
Bastian nods his head and exits the shop with another jingling of the bell above the door. Waiting for him outside are the three bullies he was hiding from earlier in the film.
"Aren't you supposed to be in a dumpster?" the head bully asks, and without any further question from Bastian, he walks to the dumpster, opens the lid, and gets inside.

The End.

2 comments:

Tracy said...

Have you ever read the book?

Remember Neverending Story II and what a piece of crap it was, even though we knew a guy in it?

That whole movie is in the book. It's really long. Bastian goes on all these adventures with Moon Child (!!) and it gets trippier by the minute.

I'm just sayin'. I don't think you're that far off the mark, dude.

Anna said...

Travis, this is a terrible ending. I can't believe you would even suggest that Bastian was tripping on acid.

Anyway . . . apparently DiCaprio is tripping on something . . .
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3iaeb1c24de37000ac186136f58da40dfc